silly little love songs

wednesday at 1:30 pm is when i am leaving for home. can't believe i am saying this but i am happy to be going home. my summer plans got changed when i took my job back at vfair. i wasn't planning on going back to valleyfair this summer because i wanted to get a head start on my minor over the summer. however, i am just doing that during the fall. it seems a little weird that my best friends are graduating next year. truth? i have no idea what i would do with out them right now. they know how to make me relax and not be stressed. yes that does mean drinking sometimes but sometimes it just means being around them. dont get me wrong, i am trying to get over to italy for a year after they graduate. which is probably why i didn't apply to go next year because i want to be around them so i dont miss them. well i know i will miss them because i have gotten so much closer with them this year that over the high school years. i dont know. i know i will miss one of them the most because we have become really close over the last 5ish school years. going to be 6 in the fall. hm.. i love them a ton.

so glee last week was titled "born this way" and there is a song that every girl probably can relate to.

really though. how many girls think they are unpretty and do not like who they are? maybe not as a person but as their appearance. some girls want to look like that girl while another wants to be someone else. maybe a model or an actress. we have people in the world to be our role models but yet how far is to far? i'm not going to lie. i hate ... well i guess i dont hate. i dont like how i look. i try to hide how i feel about myself but this song makes me think and wonder about things. i know it is my choice to lose the weight. and believe me, that is one reason i am extremely happy to be going back to vfair  because i know i will lose the weight because i am on my feet all day long moving and i dont get to eat as much. seeing how i normally dont eat much during the summer and since summer is normally hot i always feel sick when i eat and its super hot out.

so tuesday was my two friends from high school's 21st birthday. and believe me. i think i caught up to them well enough. i smoked my first cigar that night! it was awesome. i enjoyed it. i do not remember falling asleep however, which makes it slightly weirded out. but other then that it was a good night. i drink with my high school friends and a friend i met in college. i tend to be the only girl there, which is fine. my friends fiance will join us after she gets back from eurospring. man i can not wait until i dont have to say sorry for drinking anymore. i already told my friends once i turn 21 if i say i'm sorry for drinking that they need to slap me.

well i need to get studying for my two finals. math and art history. ugh. i'm nervous!