i dont even know where to begin on this one right now. other then this week seemed to be a living hell to the point of i want go and hide under a rock or something. i am to the point of i dont know what to do. i can't seem to figure out what i need to do. nor can i figure out how to feel about things right now. its friday, and i have two classes. i dont even want to get out of bed to go to my class today. because i dont understand what we are doing. and i know its my fault because i dont do the worksheets in that class because i seem to be distracted all the time. so i asked my friend to help me when she gets back from going home this weekend so i guess that is the first step in all of this. seriously this week was hell. urgh. i sort of want it to restart so i can do something different about it. hm..well monday was fine i suppose. tuesday i had a critique from hell. funny how that goes. ever week thus this semester i have had a shitty critique on all my projects. what the fuck?! i mean COME ON! am i really the only one that has to be ripped on all the time about my projects. i'm sorry if i didn't have a reason for doing something. it wasn't my idea in the first place. and second. i'm sorry if you dont understand MY CONCEPT of a piece it isn't YOURS to begin with so why does it matter?! this is why i am starting to wonder why i am a photography major now. why be something no one thinks you are good at? yes i know, they are just stupid and dont understand what you are trying to capture. well la te fucking da. i am someone who will take what people say and believe it.
lately i have been thinking, mostly because that is all i have ever done when i am sitting in my room. even sleeping i cant seem to keep my mind from wondering around. i guess i am not going to waste my time explaining what has been going through my mind. other then what i have said above about photography. because it seems to be the same shit every day. or every time i write on here. boys are stupid and i dont know why i let them toy with me emotions. i mean i swear my ipod is trying to tell me something. when i'm walking to class the song "SMILE" comes on and it makes me laugh a little about the memories of someone who can make me smile when we talk/see each other even when i had a bad day. and then "JAR OF HEARTS" comes on and i'm like...really...really ipod what are you trying to tell me now. whatever.
sorry blog..i will hopefully write about happier times soon. and dont think i'm not happy. though people in my photography class might think other wise once they see one of my projects. since i was told i shouldn't take pictures of people for the next couple of projects. i decided to make my teddy bears all suicidal and badass. so lets see what they think about it when we critique them in twoish weeks. i am sure it wont go well since it is me and my projects are never good enough for anyone in that class..
time for class though. later blog!!
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