monkey see monkey do..

yeah my title has nothing to do with my blog today. idk i cant think of anything to put as titles anymore. funny how the blogging everyday is coming to an end. i find it hard to thing of stuff to write about lately that is why my blogs have been short.

anywho, so easter was yesterday. i was on campus. once again a holiday i am not at home for. however, my family did not celebrate easter together for the first time in i dont know how many years they didn't get together. well i dont think that has ever happened before. no it wasn't my fault that they didn't have easter together. it was going to be postponed until this coming weekend because that is why i would be home, but then i realized my grandma wasn't having easter so i guess they just cancelled it all together? i mean, my aunt did something with her family and my mom and brother did something. i dont know. i just dont feel like i give a crap about easter, or christmas right now. i know, what the heck. what is wrong with her. is she losing her religion?! no. i am not. its just i dont like being around my family right now and it seems to be something no one gets. sorry but i'm not going into detail of why i dont want to be around them. something i dont feel like sharing online as of right now. but still. i can say i haven't wanted to be around them since the funeral. 

on May 1st it will be six months since my aunt has passed away. woo...weird how time flies when you are busy but then that one day makes you remember something not so great. finals are coming up, and i have been so busy trying to get my final portfolio finished that i guess i haven't realized that it has been half a year already. wow. hm.. guess i just haven't wanted to see it? its something that i haven't wanted to see, or believe i suppose. i miss my aunt more then people probably realize because i dont share my feelings on it. and i really haven't cried over it because that is who i am. i have held in the tears that were needed at the funeral. i think my dad was the only one who saw tears form when we were walking the casket to be carried to the cemetery. who knows. i'm not a heartless bitch, i just have been the one my grandparents lean on. i mean, i sat next to my grandma during the service and i was the one holding her hand. it isn't something i enjoy talking about. which is probably why i dont care about easter or christmas that much right now. and i really dont know what i feel when it comes to religion as of right now either. i mean my parents have always said it is up to me what religion i want to be when i am finally old enough to make my own choices. 

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so today everyone came back to campus. i dont think i have been more happy to see some of my friends since the beginning of the semester. i guess the only reason i was really happy three of my guy friends came back is so i can just walk into their room and just be me and hang out with them. who knows. 

i started packing up my room today. most of my stuff is off my shelves and out of my closet. i hate packing it sucks. because that means i have to be inside and not outside where it is beautiful. hopefully the weather stays nice this week. however i have looked ahead and rain is in the forecast most of the week. and then i am going home to work blah blah. man i live a boring life. going home the opposite weekends my friends are. oh well. 

i will write more tomorrow. later blog!