because i knew you. i have changed for good.

hey. so i haven't said much for a while. probably because the last time i said something i wasn't in the best of moods and right now. well lets just say i have been frustrated with a lot of things right now. and it is to the point of i dont know who to talk to. well not really, it is more of i dont have time to talk to people. i am always on the run, going to work, staying late at work or just sleeping. seriously i haven't been home doing anything for myself for the longest time. i finally got to have some free time from work on thursday. well i finally got to get off work early on wednesday last week which made my week. haha. who knows. i bought my brother midnight tickets to Harry Potter Part 2 in 3D. it was fun because i didn't tell him i was buying them.

basically i had a good few days with my brother. i didnt work thursday so i took him to Harry Potter. and i had to work friday..but i got paid to play in the rain. that was a meh thing though. i mean. who knows. everyone was on break at the same time. which was fun because power tower was on break as well so we all ate lunch together. which is funny because this guy [who i sort of like[d] ] well i guess not funny. he has a girlfriend. and he flirts, i dont know if he realizes is or if he just doesnt care? but anywho, i wasn't wet from the rain yet. and he went to have a smoke before we left. so he came back and gave me a hug. i told him i didnt want one and then he hugged me before we went outside in the down pour. at that point i didnt care if i was in the rain or not.

so on our way back to our rides. the puddles got HUGE. so we were jumping in them and kicking water around. but still. i dont get why boys flirt when they have girlfriends. hm... who knows. boys are confusing and dumb. ha.

i went to the DCI show yesterday! Drum Corp International! it was a lot of fun. i went with my little brother. it was fun because it was the only time i have been able to spend a few days with my brother. i mean. come on. Harry Potter [i cried] and DCI. i got to watch my friends march ... it made me sad because i miss marching but i can't deal with my knee being in pain. but hey i got to go to DINKYTOWN for the first time and have some of the best pizza with my brother, and some friends and some of the members from Minnesota Brass. then i got to spend time with a friend that i have liked for a while but that isnt going anywhere because ruining a friendship isnt the best idea ever.

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have you ever had someone not talk to you for 4 months for no reason? yeah well i have and to tell you the truth, it sucks but then you start to say what the fuck ever. who cares anymore right? i was to that point until today. i mean...a friend from high school is home. so he wanted to get together and i was all for that. because i miss him and i haven't seen him in forever. the problem is.. my ex friend...friend type thing that hasn't said one word to me in 4 months was going to be there. and i dont know. i was nervous about it because i was finally to the point of realizing that he was a jerk and that having a jerk for a friend was a bad idea. i mean who wants a friend who treats you like crap. i dont. but basically seeing him made me realize that i do miss him and his brother. because well, they were always there for me when i needed them. who the hell knows. maybe it will go back to me not caring. i mean boys are stupid and dumb and sometimes i wish we didnt have to live with them. they are frustrating.

the song from Wicked is For Good. [the title of my blog today]makes me think of that friend. because if it wasn't for him and his brother i dont think i would be me today. i have changed, i have become more of a person who stands up for herself and doesn't take crap from people. who knows. maybe i have changed for the bad and not for the good. thoughts?

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so speaking of frustrating..work is beyond frustrating. i mean. i need my three day weekend where i can go up north and turn my damn phone off and ignore everyone from work. there are a bunch of people at work that are annoying. i'm sorry. but if you complain about not getting enough hours and then your supervisors give you the hours that you want..and then you go around asking people to take your hours ... we have a problem. i mean, i have asked my supervisors for more hours because i need the money and what not .but SERIOUSLY! it is beyond stupid for you to complain and then you complain about having hours. ugh.

all i have to do is keep saying ... 12 days until i go up to moorhead for the weekend. just keep reminding myself that i do get a vacation soon.

valleyfair + heat = death

i swear i have died at work. at least yesterday. i felt bad because after work i was suppose to play mini golf with someone from my team and i didn't feel well. so someone took my place instead. i felt bad but there was no way i was going to play mini golf with out passing out. ugh. today i work 10 hours in the heat. good thing it is only suppose to be today and yesterday that is suppose to be super hot.

so...i found out i was the "other fat bitch" at corkscrew by my ex-team lead who got fired. i'm SO glad that i am a "controlling bitch" and the "other fat bitch" there. makes me hate myself even more that people are thinking and saying i'm fat. super glad. this is going to ruin my day. why do people have to say stupid shit and make people feel like crap. i have already been trying to figure out how to lose weight. and working at valleyfair is suppose to help however, now i am trying to figure out how to lose it more now. who knows. i'm tired of feeling like crap. i mean, i can put a smile on my face and say "oh i'm fine. who cares what people say." but really, if you think about it. you are going to listen to what people say.

i'm writing this before i go to work. seeing how i dont work until noon today but still. i have been eating healthier and i work at valleyfair so i am on my feet all day unless i am driving the train or i am in controls. so seriously. what is the problem. people say not to listen to what people are saying about you, but really how many of us do it anyway. .....ugh.

oh well...off to work. remember to DRINK WATER!