Sunday, September 11, 2011

long live the walls we crash through

so i'm home ... again this weekend. i swear i am always home it seems like. oh well, thats what i get for working all the time i suppose. lets see ... its been three weeks since school has started and i have been doing homework non-stop it seems like. no seriously. i have a lot of reading to do. and projects for art. sometimes i wonder why i am an art major. i didn't have a social life this summer with friends in college and yet i still dont have a social life with friends in college or work it seems like. oh well...? i dont know. i have been living in my apartment and it seems like i am the odd one out sometimes. because i am the one who isn't afraid to take chances and yet i dont know. sometimes it seems like all i have is drama in my life right now.

someone else me i need to relax and just not stress out about everything. well lets see my life has been turned upside down it seems like. the week before i left for school my cousin moved into our apartment. and it was a little weird. well i take that back..its super weird and i was afraid to tell my mom that. why? because i was afraid of hurting her feelings. ha sad right? so i would talk to my brother about it and he agreed it was a little weird. if you know my family you know how mature we are and how sometimes we seem to be older then we really are. well that is what is happening now. i guess...? i dont know its just hard to explain right now.

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so work is almost done. this is my last weekend at work. i am done working weekends. i am happy but at the same time i am really sad to be leaving for the season. i have my team lead application sitting in my binder and i need to fill it out soon. ha. its not like i dont want to go back. its just i can't think of reasons why i would be a good team lead. i have been dealing with the doubting myself because of a day at work when everything just went to hell. yeah... i sort of broke down at work the week before i was going back to school. branden [my supervisor] wasn't in a good mood either that day and basically i thought he was mad at me for something that i didnt do. i dont know it was a weird day and i just freaked out and branden felt bad when he saw me freak out. he is the one who handed he the team lead applicatoin to fill out because he WANTS me to come back and be a team lead. heh.

so i have been having doubts about doing it. it isn't that i dont want to go back. its just ... hard. even though the more i go back the more my resume will look. woot woot. haha. anywho i got my application done and it was sort of hard. why? because i got to think about what leadership qualities that i wish to improve on. aka what is something i need to fix about myself. ha. lets just hope i get the job! O.o

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so its 9/11/11 and that means it has been 10 years since the Twin Towers were hit. i'm sitting in the living room with my grandma right now and they are going through all of the names of those who died on that day. they are at the new memorial for those who died at that sad day. isnt it shocking to know that it has been 10 years since that day? funny right? 10 years and we are still trying to get over all the pain from that day. it is so emotional to watch people at the memorial go and find the names of their loved ones. the families of those who passed away are allowed to go into the memorial today. they are not finished with it but when they are done, i really want to go to new york to see it. its just sad, because they are reading the names and at the end, they say those who have passed away in their family.

it makes you stop and think. what would have happened if this never happened? i dont think i can think of what our lives would be if this never happened. its just so emotional to watch this right now. it seems to be something that is on everyones minds today because of how painful it was. everyone keeps asking me, "where were you when it happened?" truthfully, i was at home, as much as everyone is like "oh you were at school" um..no i was at home. i dont know why i was home but i remember my mom coming into the house, and telling me to turn the tv on.

i was driving to caribou on friday listening to the radio. it was early in the morning so the morning show was on, and i figured "hey why not just watch?" and then they said something that sort of bugged me. they were basically saying how everyone has forgotten about this day. truth is, we haven't gotten. its just we have all tried to move on. isn't that what we are suppose to do in life. is move on? we can't just sit on the past and moarn for years and years. we have lives that we all need to get back to. one of the djs made it clear that they think people are just forgetting the pain. no, we haven't. its just we can't always do a lot its just, we all have to get on with our lives and still keep it in our hearts. they is all we have to do. keep it in your hearts and minds and tell those in the next generations what happened on this day when they see it on the news or in the papers. it is something that we need to do and as much as people might think we are all forgetting about the pain and suffering everyone in america took, we haven't. it is something we need to realize.

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well i leave you with some random fun facts.

41% of the moon is not visible from earth at any time.

in literature, the average length of a sentence is around 35 words

the symbol of the pound key (#) is called an octothorpe

yeah well some of the ones that i have seen on my ipod isn't that fun. oh well. i could give you more facts about Valleyfair..but right now. meh. dont feel like it. maybe next time!